hush darling.

crescendo by becca fitzpatrick.

if one of my questions doesn't get answered in the next three pages, i'm going to throw this book at a wall. it has me on an emotional rollercoaster with nora's life. (the main character)

this book will be the death of me.

but it's the best book i've ever read.

UGH.

these tears punish my soul.

how the hell do you expect me to live like this?

without YOU?

god, i love you.

but god, do i miss you.

until then..i survive.

her ghost.

dear sun,

i've missed you.

dear happiness,

i still miss you.

dear me,

come back.

sincerely,

kayla.

go away.

this blog...has become my diary.

why won't you just talk to me?

please.

i love my friends. but i cant open up to them. there is just too much there.

i'd scare them away.

i feel like screaming until no sound comes out. i feel like crying until im out of tears. i feel like curling up in a ball and letting nature waste me away. i feel like...i feel empty.

empty.

she hurts, too.

parents. she hurts, too. ya' know, my sister? i confronted you about seeing her scars. you talked to her.

but ever since i did what i did, its all me-me-me.
why dont you notice her pain, too?

cuz that's all i can notice.

stop crying your heart out.

dang you.

11:11.

shooting stars.

12:34.

twinkling stars.

cotton puffy flower things.

wishbones.

candles.

penny fountains.

acorns.

coins.

eyelashes.

white horses.

THANKS. for getting my hopes up every time you come around.

i just have to make a wish.

and hope.

and be crushed.

dang you.

memories sharp as daggers.

why? why did you leave? you knew what you were doing to me. and now, every day, the thought of you overtakes me.

the mere idea of you sparks every motion in my body, causing me to experience things at a whole new level. now, those emotions are ones of loss and hurt.

GET OUT OF MY HEAD. PLEASE.

gorgeous nightmare.

i had a dream you texted me last night. begging for me to talk to you.

i said no...you hurt me too bad.

i wish i had the actual strength to do such a thing if you really did.

my love has drowned.

who are you anymore?

what happened to the guy i fell in love with? the guy that promised he would never leave my side? the guy that said we were going to grow old together, get married and overpopulate the earth? where is the sweet guy? where is the corny one?

where are you?

but, i love you.

even though, i don't know you anymore.

i still love you.

i miss you.

terribly.

big storm! CAUTION to all!

rain, rain go away come again some other day...

like, maybe i day i feel like playing in you, or a day i have a love and i can kiss him in you.

please?

lightning, your so scary. your all like, "SHAZAAM, i'm gonna hitchu with a jillion bolts and awaken you from your slumber." -_-

thunder, now thunder, could you please, just please be quiet? coming from a girl who loves her music loud, but her alone time quiet?

whats better, music or silence?

hmm...a puzzling question. so much can be found in silence, but music can hit you in ways words cant.

this is my opinion,

the wise one listens to music, but embraces the silence found within.

hows that for a keeper?

may 22, 2011

so, i survived may 21, 2011. bring it on 2012. was i the only one to have a slight moment of panic when it went from 5:59 to 6:00?
yet, when someone predicts the zombie apocolypse, i will then, probably prepare for an end.

went to walmart today, guess who saw 200 FEET of bubble wrap? i did. i did.
guess who was debating on bubble wrap or harry potter? i was.
which one did i get? neither -___-

i noticed i put up a front today. i say things dont get to me, but they really do. just a slight weird face, or a minor name calling or yelling really does affect me. i dont let it get to me though.
but, it hurts and my mood changes.
is that weird?

oh well, i'm off to feed the unicorns!

anonymous.

lately, i dont know. im just so...confused. everything is spiraling downward at a rate i cant possibly keep up with.

lifes a rollercoaster, right? so...where are my ups? its one big down. maybe an occasional flat level surface, but...thats no up.

right?