may i fall upon a bed of rocks?

you know this season of degrassi? eli and clare's break-up?

it reminds me of us. me being the obsessive one with so many problems and hurting over you, not getting over you. of me trying to convince myself that i hate you and going to extreme measures to get you out of my mind.

i feel for you eli. i know you're pain all too well.

i cast no shadow for i have no soul

you're no good. you're a backstabber. you're untrustworthy. you don't deserve anything.

who am i kidding?

you were the best person i ever knew, and you deserve everything.

withered souls

i will always be that one friend you never really know. i'm that one friend you don't have any memorable memories with or any insiders. i'm the friend that's hardly really a friend. i'm the third wheel of our friendship.

i'm that friend that is left out and can't connect with anyone.

my love for you resides with you,

i think it's time i accept the fact that you are perfectly happy without me, that you never loved me, that you lied to me, and that you simply...hate me.

i know it now, but i still want to deny it.

the memories are consuming,

"All emotional pain only lasts for 12 minutes. After that, is is self-inflicted."
that's a load of crap.
Unless you can somehow tell me WHY i'm making myself suffer?

you're a failure played in stereo.

don't, EVER joke about rape. never. it's not something that should be taken lightly. especially when it has such disastrous results.

the footprints between us are too frozen,

you see that angel in the picture? you see it stuck there on that ladder, not being able to go any higher? you see it confined in that room with no space to air its wings? you see it looking down at the ground, because the only thing above it is a ceiling stopping it. you see the balls on the floor waiting to make the angel fall? do you see the angel?

that's me.

do you feel that? i don't...not anymore.

[ insert picture that expresses something of how i feel here. ]

i hate life.

this life is not long enough;

i have no motivation in my life.

nothing to look forward to.

september will never end;

2 DAYS.

2 DAYS until i cry hard.

2 DAYS until i lose 95% of my mind.

2 DAYS until my generation officially ends.

2 DAYS until Harry Potter comes out.

the monster withholds;

im 17. i dont want to be here. i dont want to graduate this year. i dont want to grow up. i dont want to accept responsibility. i cant handle it. i am not to be trusted with things as tender as dreams. i'll dissapoint, i'll hurt, i'll be a failure.

i can't grow up, i'll only hurt everyone.

my soul's on the other side,

i need motivation.
i need reasoning.
i need to know why i'm waking up and tearing myself throughout the day just to have the pain repeated again.
i need to know why i keep up with the world's crap.
i need to know how i can possibly keep up this "nice girl" facade.
when really, my heart is as cold as ice.

shattered mirrors, shattered souls.

i'm sick. and forever will i be sick. forever will i be fighting this illness. forever will i be fighting the purest of evil- depression.

silk curtains towering over my head,

i'll just take one celexa.

and then another.

and then another.

until i feel something other than this wreched misery.

blades of pain, razors of misery

you love me? ha, how many of your last three girlfriends have heard that? you don't know what love is you pathetic scumbag.